Write a book

 It has been said that in our lifetime everyone should write at least one book.  To quote one such thinker I looked to google and found:

For those who don't know Jodi Picoult is an author who wrote a bunch of books that turned into movies, ie My Sister's Keeper with I think Cameron Diaz, not that I actually watched it. 

I say all of this because I am 30,000 words into my own book. That may sound like a lot. Because it is, but it really really isn't. Did you know that the average 400-page book is 100,000 words long. I didn't know that. You know why? 

Because no one ever mentions that part.  Or the fact that the majority of the things you write will feel like crap and a good portion of it actually is. In the grand scheme that 1000 words about a perplexing goldfish that has nothing to do with any of the characters or the plot will mean absolutely nothing. At the time though, that goldfish will feel like the only thing that ever mattered in the entire universe.  

Writing a book is a lot like when your teacher assigns a five-page essay. And you work so hard to double space and increase the font by 0.5 just enough that they won't notice it's bigger but it takes up a good portion of an extra page that you know you did not write enough to cover. And reaching that five-page mark either feels like you've summited Kilomagaro and the world is so much clearer looking down like you can finally breathe. Which now that I think about it is the most ironic scenario because the top of a mountain is the last place to go to breathe easier. 

 Or you climbed and summited Kilimanjaro around page 2 after you procrastinated for 6 hours, had a Step Up movie marathon, and baked cookies. And now it's practically nothing breezing through your last few paragraphs till you on page 7 trying to decide what to cut out. 

Writing a book is just like that, except when you finally get to the final page and type that last period/exclamation point/ question mark? and you take that breath as the weight of the world is a little lighter, you know that for now, you have done the impossible. Tomorrow you will wake up and do again. To say it gets easier would be a lie, half of writing is convincing yourself to have the guts to write anything at all, and then pushing through when you don't think it's any good. 

Why do it at all?

Honestly, writing makes me feel like I have a superpower. As if the world is contained entirely in my fingertips and the faster I write, the more of the world I can create. I love that my favorite others have given worlds to dream of and I hope that when I write I can create that world for someone else. So even though I've been writing this book for three months and I can't even say I'm halfway done, and despite the fact that whoever may read it will be done in days, if they're anything like me, hours; I keep writing. For the possibility of even one person reading it and loving it the way, I am starting to. 

Also, I think at a point I began to have an obligation to the characters. They deserve to end up somewhere, even if it's only temporary until their next adventure. They deserve to have victories and learn from their failures and fail some more because they didn't quite learn as much as they should've. They deserve to live and love the way we can't right now. So I guess this is my Covid Novel. Yikes.

Thanks for attending my TedTalk

Until next time

- Camille